Global Dating Part 1: He Said

I know many friends have wanted to hear more of the story behind my recent change in relationship status. And before you mark this post as spam, I’ll try to keep a balance between “just the facts” and “pass the Pepto”.

[This is a guest post by my awesome boyfriend, Joey Tyson.]

Joey and Laura

Laura and I are actually childhood friends. When I was 12, not long after moving to Atlanta, my family joined the church that her family already attended. Apart from teaming up once in an outdoor game whose rules I no longer recall, we weren’t particularly close growing up. But we reconnected while I was in grad school, and eventually found several shared perspectives and interests. By that time, I had moved to Virginia and Laura was still in Georgia. As our lives seemed to go in different directions, we lost touch for a while.

That changed earlier this year. Laura enjoys traveling, and since her current job allows her to work remotely, she decided to spend a few weeks exploring the San Francisco area while deepening her relationship with God. Fortunately for me, I had moved to northern California the year prior after taking a job with Facebook. The more time we spent time together, the more I began to realize how much we truly had in common.

After Laura returned home, we continued sharing thoughts on a range of topics via email. And through these conversations, we discovered that even our deepest values seemed to echo the same song. Our friendship continued to grow as we talked more often, including an afternoon in-person when I visited Atlanta.

The weekend after July 4th, I visited Atlanta once more, but not before asking Laura if I could take her out on a date. She not only said yes, but agreed to join me on a series of adventures while I was in town, from hiking Amicalola Falls to seeing the Georgia Aquarium to enjoying a fancy homemade dinner (although that last one was a surprise). We both had a wonderful time and endeavored to move forward with a long-distance relationship.

IMG_5736We knew that path wouldn’t be easy, but we’ve been learning to navigate it and are still very happy to be together even while we’re geographically apart. I’m continually amazed by Laura’s kindness and character; her friendship amplifies God’s goodness and joy in ways I never imagined.

We greatly appreciate the myriad encouragements we’ve received from friends and look forward to seeing what awaits us in the next few chapters of this story. 

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The Truth About Being Shy

I’m an extrovert and I’m shy. It’s true and I’m not proud of it.

Please allow me to explain.

Most of the time, meeting people is a hobby for me. I actually thrive on encountering new names, faces, stories, and journeys. Each new friendship is an adventure.

But there are moments where I find myself surrounded by unfamiliar faces, attempting to selfishly hide behind my shy side. What will they think of me? They’re intimidating! What if I am supposed to know who they are, but I don’t? What if I can’t relate to them? What if they don’t want to talk to me? They look weird or boring… or both. What if I get stuck talking to them?

Photo Credit: Edge of Space via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Edge of Space via Compfight cc

In less than a minute I can be completely consumed with doubt or fear or prejudice. All of my excuses seem to stem from a central source: selfishness. Shyness demands that others take the initiative in beginning a conversation with me. It forces someone else to ask me questions and discover my interests. It’s easy to be shy and let someone else make the effort. Focusing on myself blinds me to the fact that the people around me are human too. They are created in God’s image. They have a story. And they are part of God’s story.

We are explicitly instructed to “do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than [ourselves]; do not merely look out for [our] own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). What better way to begin living out this command than in conversation? We have a plethora of opportunities on a regular basis to esteem the [cashier, barista, client, coworker, professor, receptionist, etc.] better than ourselves.

It’s time to stop pretending that being shy is excusable.

It’s time to regard others as more important than myself.

It’s time to smile, say hello, and meet someone new.

Adventures in San Francisco

I recently spent 4 epic weeks in the beautiful bay area of San Francisco. The adventures, memories with friends, lessons learned, and breathtaking scenery will soon be put into words (probably a series of blog posts). But until then, here are a couple pictures to give you a sneak peek. 🙂

Cliff house

Cliff House, Ocean Beach

Golden gate from ft mason

Golden Gate Bridge from Fort Mason

Muir Woods

Muir Woods

Philz CoffeeBest drip coffee. Ever. (aka Philz Coffee)

Bodin

Boudin San Francisco Sourdough

danger trail closed

Trail to Vernal Falls, Yosemite National Park

from 36,000 ft

From 36,000 feet. I seriously ❤ mountains. Especially snow capped mountains.

Pier 1

Pier 1 / Financial District, San Francisco

Craving Community

We are all designed for community, regardless of personality.

And I’m not just referring to the kind of community that resides in the same zip code. We were created to communicate with others. Friends, family, colleagues, classmates, and clients are all part of this network called community. And with today’s technology and social media, it is easier than ever to connect with hundreds and even thousands of people around the world.

How is it possible then, that I can be drowning in connections and still crave community? Where is the disconnect between being surrounded by people and actually having community?

Intentionality.

Community springs from authentic relationships that require effort to initiate and maintain. Facebook friends, Twitter followers, and LinkedIn connections, are merely an avenue to facilitate building relationships. Assuming a social media platform will magically be transformed into community is a catastrophic misconception. It requires individual hard work and persistence. But most importantly, community demands intentionality.

Communicate purposefully. Invest relationally. Create your own community.